Flat Bread

Indian food is amazing. I mean, I've known this forever now, but I secretly just want to shout it from the rooftops. That's a little crazy...so we went to India Palace tonight in celebration of Muriel's BIRTHDAY, and it really took me back to that time Cheryl and I went out to eat last summer in that one restaurant, what was it called? The one next to the 7-Eleven? They put those everywhere don't they? Man, I really miss Northgate and Meridian, holy toledo, I lived on Meridian Ave...I miss Green Lake, and sleeping on the balcony when it was super hot. Oh, but what tonight really brought me back to were those Arab dinners we made back in the day: Fatoush, Fuhl, Lamb Curry, Couscous, hummus, oh sooooo good.

I'm going to learn how to make flat bread without turning it into crackers like last time.
It's just divine you know?

And potatoes, don't get me started. There's something comforting in a potato; it just brings you home.

I miss Arabic and I miss Spanish.

Should have had the tuna: excerpts from a 2010 journal

11:08 am. I bought one of those egg, cheese and sausage bagels today; not because they're good, more out of sentiment. It's practically summer in my opinion and so that's why yesterday I cut off two pairs of holy jeans into shorts and immediately put them on. I'd like to comment that this bagel sandwich is slightly stale.

I drink Smart Water not because I think it makes me look or feel smart but because I think it's a clever bottle design. Probably an overuse of plastic, but I never was an extreme environmentalist.

I'm honored and excited to spend 12 hours this Saturday with 16 other groups of musicians at Guitars Unplugged-March 27th, $5 tickets @BYU info desk, 2 shows, on sale NOW-I once said, as a freshman in high school that I would die for the arts, and although I've certainly rearranged my priorities since then, I still save a special part of me for art. For the words, for the paint, for the notes, for the act, for the dance. I treasure it all.

There are many explanations for the ontology of man, and although I find agency to be a leading definition under that category, I wouldn't deny creativity of second place. Man's ability to create and express, to share and inspire, are is his own. Maybe in reality it's only comparable to the capacity for language in general...but all in all I love stepping into the minds of men through their art, be it whatever form.

I'm kind of sick of the sausage, egg and cheese bagel by now.
Should have had the tuna.

Aftermath: American Fiction

Aftermath: a song by American Fiction

It's about living and fighting life.  It's crazy, it's hard, it good, it's fantastic.  It's complete. 

To my father:

Thank you for showing me to revere, 

those warriors that fight for our nation;

even when they're own hearts are full of fear.

Here to my mother:

I thank you for pushing me to strive,

for things i never thought i could attain -oh no;

even while others plot and contrite. 

To my sisters:

I thank you for demanding I treat women right; 

cause so many men simply don't, 

and wonder why at night they sleep alone.

To Megan and Katherine:

You were the ones who always believed,

that dreams aren't just meant for conversation;

they need to be lived out and achieved. 

This is:

the apple of my eye

This is:

of eden's fruit 

This is:

the seeds from which i grew

This is:

what i've been through.

And to those: 

Who tried so hard to hinder my path, 

there will be no retribution no wrath; 

what's done is done there will be no aftermath.

For rhis is triumph,

of the dreams we've had!

Oh, this is triumph, 

raise your fist and stand!

For this is triumph 

the rest have over come! 

For this is triumph, 

the righteous have won!

And triumph, is what i've done.

Spring, perfection: to be complete

It's the first day of Spring, and I'm happy. Winter finally ended and I'm stuffing those scarves back into their cardboard box. I was reading my auntie's blog today-I've just recently got into blogging...crazy...and was impressed by her final comment/life lesson on perfection, inspired by her sister in-law-whom I'm almost positive, is my other auntie (i LoVe my family):  

"My sister-in-law commiserated with my distress, saying that she had redefined perfection. That is very wise. Even in the Bible, where we are told to be "perfect" - the original word intended there means complete or whole - it does not mean 'without flaw'. I've embraced this perspective in other areas of life, mostly to retain my sanity. Perfection is no longer three gourmet meals each day served in a pristine, expensively furnished house by a size 2 wife and mother who never raises her voice. Perfection is complete love, complete joy, and all of the work it takes to get both. It is loud and messy and funny, exhausting and exhilarating. Perfect."  

It touched my soul and reminded me of what I've tried to make of this semester. I recall a January afternoon, crying in frustration to my sister, Amber. I was going to take less classes and focus on balance in my life, but the change from constant stress to sudden peace and time unsettled me. I did not understand what balance was about and strangely felt the lack of 'too-much-on-my-plate' to be almost sinful, or in a lighter sense: wrong, when in reality 'too-much-on-my-plate' was wrong to begin with.  

I haven't completed all of my goals this semester. I still go to bed too late and haven't done as much yoga as I had planned to, but the important things, I have begun to master those and I've decided that I really like oatmeal. Balance is key. Sleep, work, church, school, and play are all interconnected and rely on each other. One or two cannot take the place of all though you need to apply a little bit of each to feel completely whole, and that my friends, is perfection.  

This semester has been the greatest, the greatest blessing of my life, and I will continue it from here on out. I've never felt so complete, and so whole-though not without faults, this I'm sure of, but I still get up each day and I smile at the sun, his reflection in the mountains. Life and me is something I am working on each day, something that is a process we are all trying hard to work at.  

This life is good, and I thank God for his blessings.  

My favorite part of my auntie's quote was when she said, "Perfection is complete love, complete joy, and all of the work it takes to get both. It is loud and messy and funny, exhausting and exhilarating. Perfect."  

I think it's because it's so true. I feel it within my soul and I cry in joy at the thought.

On Intelligence

I've been thinking a lot about intelligence lately and just now recalled the four papers I need to write. I've decided that I'll do them tomorrow-"you're smart" I said, "you can do it." Then I wondered, does being able to write a paper quickly mean you're smart? I don't think so. Is it understanding complicated mathematical computations? Is it one's vocabulary? Or musical expertise? I'm not sure, actually, I think [d]-all of the above. Intelligence isn't about getting all the answers right, it's about knowing the world around you. Being aware and applying that awareness to further education. I don't get all the answers right in my classes, but Weber did help me to better understand today at least one perspective on Capitalism, at least one different from my beloved Marx-yes, I just said that I love Marx, no, I'm not a communist, but I do appreciate his ideas, anyway... Over the past 5 years of college education I've edited with photoshop, created with illustrator, embraced artistic license, studied human geography, the benefits of sugar, and exercise plans. Took Spanish, Arabic, foreign culture in general, basic Econ-twice, algebra, history, studied with professors, presented in California, even interviewed the families of America. I've dabbled in business and experienced marketing, written music, read a few books. After 5 years, you'd think I'd be done. But honestly, I'm not. 2 more years and that'll make 7 of it all. Am I ashamed? Not so much. A friend told me today that it's no race, and he was right. I like learning. I may not have all the answers, but I do understand and appreciate a little bit of everything and can't wait to taste a little bit more.

Coconut Lime Verbana

So I bought a new wallflower scent-Coconut Lime Verbana.  I love it because it reminds me of last summer, when we had the same scent in our room, me and Deb.  Yogurt Apricot & Almond Dial body wash reminds me of summer too.  It's so close I can smell it!  This week will be insane, I haven't made my study plan yet, but it'll be good.  Life is good.

March

Sometimes at 1:30 in the morning, after reviewing all the Pepsi ads ever made, and double-checking that you're still cool with your best friend, Muriel, you decide to write something while listening to piano suites by Billy Joel--I love that man. First off, it's March, which I think is an important enough topic as any. It was so sunny today, and I turned on some Juanes, Nelly Furtado, Shakira, Miguel Bose, it always reminds me of sunshine and summer, particularly walking the sidewalk from the Spanish class I took with Kristen West and Señor Vidal Martín from Spain. Everett Community College-I love community colleges, but don't get me started on that... I wrote this in my statistics class today: "March meant shoes without socks (totally did that today), anklets, and sunshine. Although it could snow again at any moment, the long wait for spring was finally coming to an end. The semester would be more than half over and our souls closer to my favorite part of the year, when it's sunny and warm, and lazy, and cool. I'd like to live somewhere warm someday..." and then it's just runs into the word 'CLAIM' and 'Research Hypothesis'...below a line drawn to the word: 'Hawaii' of course. Thank you March. I'll love you forever-well, minus the mustaches, please don't guys. eh?